FIRST
They
don't understand that their value to their boy/girl friend is not based
on weather they have sex or not, but rather on who they are as a person.
It's
amazing how many people don't believe this.
Let's
be real here.
If
your value to your boy/girl friend is based on weather you have sex
with him/her, you not only have a shallow partner, but chances are good
that you're being used. I can't put it any simpler than that.
This
notion that your partner wants to have sex with you "because he/she
loves you" is more often then not just an excuse to get you into bed.
The fact is, your partner is mistaking "respect" for selfishness.
If
your partner really did have respect for you, he/she wouldn't put you
in a situation that could end up messing you and others over in a number
of ways;
ie.
pregnancy, sexual transmitted diseases, self respect problems, etc..
I
hope you are dating someone who respects you for you and
not for what you can do in bed. If not, I don't need a crystal ball
to predict where your relationship is headed.
Don't
believe me?
Well
then don't take my word for it.
Listen
to a teenage girl who's
"been
there and done that."
(click
here to read her testimony)
SECOND
They
don't understand that the child they may bring into this world is not
a toy but a human being.
Are
you ready to take on the responsibility of having a child at this point
in your life?
I
mean, do you and your partner have a good enough job to support this
child?
Do
you really understand what it takes to be a parent?
"Well,"
you might say
"I
protect myself when having sex. So I don't have to worry about that."
Yeah,
right.
Do
you realize how many teenage mothers and fathers have said that?
Fact
is, too many times the potential 3rd party of a relationship, the baby,
is ignored.
Obviously
they are not thought of much before they
come into this world by people who view sex as a game.
And
unfortunately even when they are here, more often
then not the unexpected baby is treated like a "toy";
an object to "play" with;
to
be used as a way to satisfy emotional needs.
When,
for example, the parent is down or depressed,
they are someone to hug and receive attention and love from;
someone
to make the person feel better about
themselves or their problems.
However,
when it's not convenient to have them around
or
when
they interfere with ones personal life,
they are often put aside, ignored or ill treated.
What
was said earlier about your partner being selfish?
Think
about it.
THIRD
They
don't have the self control enough to stop before they start.
Don't
put yourself in situations with your girl/boy friend that creates within
you a strong desire to have sex.
This
goes for sex , drugs, drinking, or anything else you want no part of.
For
example, if you don't want to mess with drugs,
you
don't hang out with those who are doing drugs.
If
you don't want to mess with alcohol, you don't go to booze parties.
If
you don't want to have sex, don't put yourself in a situation where
you are physically or mentally simulated to do so.
This
is Sesame Street stuff.
To
make this point clearer,
as
if it needs to be made any clear,
consider
the following scene in a courtroom shown on TV not too long ago.
The
young mother was asking for financial help from the father to raise
her 3 children.
In
response, the "man" says
"I
do the best I can do."
"You
do the best you can do?" the judge replies. "The best you could have
done was not to bring these children into this world.
Then.
turning to the mother, she says, "the best you could have done was to
have a little self control and stay out of bed."
A
TEENAGE GIRL'S TESTIMONY
I
lost my virginity at 14 years old. I met this guy my freshman year,
we really were not good friends before we started dating. It all
happened so fast. A month into our relationship I thought he loved
me, and I loved him. And we'd be together forever. We spent
all of our time together. During this time I was struggling through
depression and lots of other problems in my home life. Then I decided
to have sex with him. I thought it was out of love, that this would
really bring us closer and have a better relationship. I thought
hey since he's having
sex with me and telling me he loves me, then he must love me. We
were together for 6 months all together. During the end of our
relationship we sometimes wouldn't use any protection at all. A
few times I thought I was pregnant. My mom had always told me,
never to have sex at such a young age because nobody is emotionally
ready, well I never believed her. Then all me and him ever did
was just have sex, all the time. I thought this meant good. Then
he ended it. He began smoking pot, and we would fight. He
ended it, and I really couldn't believe it. I mean I really really
thought he cared about me. From then I have NEVER been the same. I
got really depressed. I felt used and abused. I felt so many
emotions and anger. I wanted to kill him for lying to me. I
am still living with the decisions I made. Which were the wrong
ones. I just sat there and cried and cried. I can't believe
I let someone take my whole body and just destroy it all. If only
I had listened to my mom when she said sex at a young age is so emotional
for someone to handle at this age. Man was she right. It all
haunts me still after months have past. In the end we never talk
anymore, and actually he's in Jail. And what I hear from his friends
are some pretty cruel things he said about me. If I could give
any teenage girl one good piece of advice it would be NOT to have sex
until your an adult. Nobody at such a young age is ready for what
sex will bring you. Please just listen to my story and really think
about it.
Its so powerful and emotional and you really don't know
this until it all ends the way you never thought it would. But
I have living proof that it WILL happen.
B.C.
E-mail
the author about any questions
or comments you may have
or
about your experiences
regarding this topic.
ranch@copper.net
Your
information may be
posted on this site
and
may be of some help
to other teens.
All
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No names
will be used.


In
this web site, teenage issues and problems
such as pregnancy, suicide, depression,
teen sex and abstinence, divorce and family
problems along with making the right chains
in life are discussed.